The Ultimate Cakewalk

Sometimes, you get inspired. Sometimes you'll see something that just touches your very soul. This thing, this new found sense of wonder instills in you a desire to be better, achieve greater things, stand out amongst the crowd...and sometimes, it takes nothing more than some poorly applied frosting to do so. Now if you have no idea what I'm talking about, your life is missing a little something...a little something called "Cake Wrecks"

Now, I don't think many bakers aspire to be a member of the Cake Wrecks club, but oh the gems they afford when they do! I think of them as "beautiful disasters." However, on Sundays, there really are some lovely cakes posted on the site and that is where the inspiration for my latest baking adventure sprang. However, this blog really isn't about cakes or cookies on dowels or my secret desire to be featured as a cake wrecker despite my non professional baker standing. No, this blog is about my best friend and her birthday adventure...a cake just happens to be included.

Best Friends!

The day all begins with a team and a dream. College football is a passion in the south, some say darn near a religion, and while I don't hold it to that standard, we do bleed crimson for a reason. Alabama has been at the crest of its Roll Tide wave this year, and like any good fan, the stadium is the place to be on any given Saturday. Well, the Bama, Ole Miss game just happened to fall right before Jenny's birthday, so what better place to celebrate? Jenny, our friend Allison, and I loaded up in my car, cake and gifts in tow and headed down to T-town...Tuscaloosa for you uninitiated folks, and got ready to cheer on the team. (You realize it's we fans that actually spur the team to victory right? It's not really all that coaching and practice...) Well, this season, has been monumental...if you follow college ball at all, you know Bama has come from the depths of despair in the past few years to being 11-0 and #1 in the SEC and the Nation at the posting of this blog. If that doesn't get your rammer jammer going, nothing will! Well, we settled into the game, screamed at the first recognition of "Sweet Home Alabama" every one of the hundreds of times it was played, (that's in the rules of the "Livin' in Alabama" handbook) and agreed that every call against the team was surely because the zebras were crooked! Thankfully, Bama took into consideration that it would spoil a very special birthday if they lost. Final: Alabama 30 Mississippi State 7. Roll Tide Roll.


That band is probably like...a million dollars worth of band or something...

With spirits high and stomachs growling, we trekked the mile or so back to the car, grabbed the cake and headed to Jenny's cousin's RV for a wee bit o' tailgating fun! Well, the walk from the car to the camper that's where the ultimate cakewalk comes into play. It was an odd processional, me, leading the way, cake in hand, Jenny loaded with bags, and Allison bringing up the rear. It's an odd feeling to be walking down one of the main drags of Tuscaloosa, opposite the flow of the foot traffic, knowing everyone wants a piece of what you got...stop it now...I'm talking about the cake. Jenny also decided that it would be a good idea to take pictures with the cake a la senior portrait style. Here we see...contemplate/hopeful future, con cake!

Everyone wants a piece of that...cake.

"OK, now look off into the distance like you're believing your dreams into being..."

Back at the camper there was chili, potato soup, cornbread, and pigs in blankets...by request of the birthday girl. Also, a smattering of desserts in addition to the cake, just to insure the fat and sugar overload would be complete. One of the players came by to talk too...and now I know all about red shirting, black shirting, Nick Saban, and what I'm not allowed to say about any of it!

...How Does Your Garden Grow?

I have a black thumb. I admit it. I kill plants, I'm a horticultural nightmare...it's not that I want to be or try to be; I'm just naturally gifted at being ungifted naturally. Over the years, many a plant has met its demise through my hands. There were the ferns who ended their pathetic lives on the porch, wilted and brown. The sundry varieties of tomato plants that produced one small sickly tomato, unfit for consumption by man or beast. The Forget-Me-Nots that never grew enough to forget in the first place, scads of others...RIP. The one plant I've managed to keep alive, my forsaken little rose bush, has been through the ringer...burned, frozen, flooded, even run over by a truck! I count its survival to its own will to live, because I surely haven't been any help to it. There's a metaphor for life in there somewhere...but I think Bret Michaels already wrote about that... Despite these past forays into failure, I am however, the eternal optimist. I always imagine my future efforts will be more fruitful than futile, but seemingly

.

my delusions of grandure...i.e

are always brought back to inevitable reality...i.e


Now, my purpose for writing this isn't simply to confess my horrific crimes of floracide. It's because, yesterday, as I walked into the office, I was informed that there was half a truckload of flower bulbs for the taking in the warehouse. This is not that unusual of a circumstance actually. We often get freebies at work from various customers...here are a few in my collection: iron furniture, a fireplace mantle, umbrellas, jumper cables, 40 pairs of socks, a George Foreman Grill (knock out the fat!) and much, much more. Well, never one to pass up a bargain and always sure that the next time will yield better results, I sauntered back to the loading bay. Imagine my delight as there were literally thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of bulbs back there and people were grabbing them by the box full! Everyone scrambling to procure the finest assortment of Spring's future glory. I gathered up a fairly small box and shoved it full of tulips, daffodils, irises, hyacinth, and various other future disappointments. $200 worth of bulbs later, I was back at my desk, dreaming of trowels and miracle grow...because trust me, it'll take a miracle.

...is a baby supposed to be involved?

I suppose next comes the planting and the sooner, the better. Funny how flowers can smell so sweet while the bulbs smell...well, not so sweet. Actually, they smell rather strongly of uric acid. That's right...pee, they smell like pee. Now, I didn't discover this little secret in the large open warehouse, no, no, I didn't find this out until I let them sit in my car for a few hours while I finished out the workday...as they sat...in my car...reeking of pee...in my car. That was not a pleasant ride home. What is it though, we all suffer for beauty? Well, hopefully anyway! Come Spring, I'm hoping to update this blog with pictures of glorious flowers blooming forth in all their natural glory...but, until then, I'm not holding my breath...well, unless I'm driving.

A River Runs Through It...

4 AM...it's quiet. The moon hangs low in the chill of the early October morning. A few weary people begin to rouse themselves from a heavy slumber. Backpacks are filled with water, extra clothes, and granola bars. Hair is quickly twisted into ponytail holders, tennis shoes are slipped on and jackets are grabbed as they race out the door. In a few short hours, the weeks of planning would finally culminate...

but not for me...


You see, I should be preparing for a white water rafting trip right about now with a group of my friends. A trip I conceived of, planned, and paid for. (reimbursements from friends pending of course) Instead it seems I've decided I should develop a fairly serious kidney infection...oh, and a head cold...I wouldn't forget about you head cold. You're the icing on my illness cake!



Now I know a kidney infection sounds like fun, but let me tell you, it's not, IT'S NOT! It's not one of those " I need a break from work, oh, how convenient, the sniffles!" kind of things. It's one of those "quit hitting me in the back with that baseball bat!" kind of things. Of course there's a whole other treasure trove of symptoms that go along with this but I'll spare you. Suffice to say my bladder and kidneys are no longer on speaking terms. Oh, the head cold, yeah, I've contacted Guinness...I figure I must be setting some kind of record for Kleenex usage.

Now, this isn't to say you can't have some fun while possibly dying*. If you aren't suffering from the probable side effects of confusion and disorientation (yep) movies are always a good..actually, depending on the movie, it might be better under the effects of confusion and disorientation...but I digress. Thanks to Netflix, I received quality entertainment in my mailbox for only pennies a day or so they tell me. Well, anyway, a bunch of Lost Boys found their way into my mailbox that day. Surprisingly enough, I'd never seen Lost Boys before but I had faith that the 80s wouldn't disappoint me. I must say, two Coreys, a Sutherland, and copious quantities of fake blood later, I was laughing it up. I do love a good vampire flick and teamed with the campy nostalgia of the 1980s, I was feeling better in no time...for about 5 minutes. Time to look for greener pastures. This brings me to my favorite sick bed activity...naps.


Napping when you're sick is a true joy. There's something about that fevered sleep that is like no other. It's the waking up that kind of sucks. You know what I'm talking about, (and this is all you head cold.) that nice puddle of drool, the snots, the whole "were am I" sensation. I know, sexy right? Oh, and the chills, those are sexy too. However, the sleeping itself is great. A good solid two hour nap, it's like kicking sickness in the butt! You don't know you're sick at all while you're sleeping and...AND you get those awesome freak dreams from the combination of antibiotics, pain killers, and cough syrup! Where else can you ride a flying surfboard on a wave made of rainbows? That's the kind of entertainment only Blue Cross and Blue Shield can provide! Alas, naps only last so long.


Of course, there's that great bastion of misinformation...the internet...the sick person's best friend...the golden retriever of all technology! It all starts out innocently enough, read a few blogs, laugh at an lolcat, and facebook or myspace completely pointless messages to all of your friends. Of course, that's until you decide to google your condition and all of its potential if ridiculously rare side effects...when the words "failure, loss of, and death" start popping up, you decide it's time to head back to Icanhascheezburger.com. Still, eventually, even the internet gets a little boring and repetitive...





Well friends and internet strangers alike, I raise my glass of gingerale and bid you adieu for this blog...hopefully I can keep myself out of the hospital. The first round of antibiotics didn't work so well you see but I like a challenge...now, some amusing pictures that I hope you enjoy as much as I have...

Here I am just chillin' with an Ermine. (Oh yeah, photoshop is fun too!)

My gosh! Why didn't I know about these sooner? They fulfill all my action jean needs!


The Force is strong in this one ^

...and finally, some parenting advice from a non-parent expert!

*used for dramatic effect!

...and then there was Alaska

Well, here I am in the bright, shiny, new world of blogging. I suppose in a way this is like a personal diary...for all the world to see. I don't really know why anyone else would care to read the random ramblings of a quirky southern girl but if perchance you would...welcome aboard.

When I woke up this morning, it was the first time I've slept through the night in two weeks. Why you ask? I don't know, but I think it might have something to do with my most recent trip to Alaska. Something about that place just sticks with me...and the fact that this was a monumentally epic trip makes returning to the ordinary part of my extraordinary life much, much harder.

This was my second trip to that great land this year...the first being this July and also an adventure of magnificently epic proportions. The interior did not disappoint...but that's a blog for another day.

Most recently however, was simply for grins and shenanigans with my best friend in the southeast of AK. When we get a hankerin' for some good ol' fashioned glacial kayaking, cold water snorkeling, crab boat riding, eagle watching fun, we vacate the standard issue surroundings, pack the thermal shirts and the formal gowns and head out west to hop aboard the Celebrity Mercury. This was our sophomore season on the Mercury and just as the first trip two years ago, nothing but good times were had. We made new friends and saw old ones...who regardless of the thousands of passengers that passed through the gangways...remembered us as if we'd never left. We laughed, we ate, we drank, we flirted, we danced the night away. We adored the crew, especially our fabulous waiters Dragan and Serdar, they returned the favor. I won (for a night) $7000 worth of diamonds to drape around my neck. We dared to plunge our bodies into the glacial waters of the Hubbard for the polar bear challenge. We did ever so much more than could be listed in one little blog...and this is just on the ship.

Now, let me regress juuuuust a little. We decided to spend a little time in Seattle before we bolted for our departure in Vancouver. It was the best of times...it was the...well, not the worst of times, but surely strange. Our first night in town, things didn't go exactly as planned and Jenny and I ended up walking the entire length of the city, finding ourselves at the Space Needle around 2 in the morning. We fearfully appreciated the random cat calls and whistles from various cars and narrowly avoided an SUV of what I'm assuming were nefarious scoundrels, who took it upon themselves to be our personal taxi service...no thanks. Sketchy areas of Seattle at night...not the safest venture, but well...at least it's a story. After bumming around for a bit and finding no suitable fun we bussed back to our hotel...but not before being treated to the delightful sight of a drunken man peeing in the alley. Oh Seattle! The next day however, was much, much better.

Through what I would describe as, ridiculous circumstances, I've been fortunate enough to come to know a few of the fisherman from "Deadliest Catch;" even more fortunate to have done some graphic design work for a couple of the boats. Well, Jenny, myself, and a couple of other friends headed down to the Pacific fisherman's terminal to see the ones I knew and meet the ones I didn't. Since they only had about a week before they left out for Dutch it was very nice of them to take the time. Hellos, hugs, and how are ya's were all exchanged. We toured around the Wizard (again for me), I hit my head hard enough to make me curse. Jenny "charted the crab"; and we all wondered and marveled at Arket's multi colored shoes. Lunch took place at The Matador where many photos and videos were taken...then we all dispersed to our random destinations. Jenny, myself, and our friends poked along in Pike Place Market and downtown Ballard, seeing all the things and doing all the things you do at Pike Place Market and downtown Ballard. Good times. Later that night, it was out with a couple of the Wizard guys, a friend of theirs and friend of ours for good conversation at some local watering hole. The next morning was off to Vancouver so I end this little regression and rejoin your Alaskan adventure, already in progress.

Now, let's talk about port. We visited Ketchikan, Juneau, and Sitka. Now as far as the towns themselves, yeah, we browsed around a bit, shopped a little, did the tourist thing, but only the bare bones minimum...time fillers really. You see, the best part about Alaska is Alaska, so take advantage. In Ketchikan, we decided to take the Aleutian Ballad crab boat tour...after watching the guys on TV for so long and getting to know a few of them, we wanted to in some very, very small way experience what they do day in and day out. We were met by Capt. David at the dock and made our way down to the boat where we jogged out a few miles into the misty waters surrounding Ketchikan. There we watched as crewmen Kiwi and Terry brought in pots of crab, adorably dorky Ratfish, angry octopi, and eagles lured with fish. We handled the catch, feeling the sharp spines of the crab and slimy bodies of the fish. We interviewed the crew, I threw the hook and Jenny brought it in...we ran all around the boat, goofed off in the wheelhouse...and possibly made some interesting new business contacts. After our crabbing adventure, it was off to Orca Corn, a small establishment slightly off the main drag that makes the best caramel popcorn I've ever had.


Juneau, the state capital! Yes, I did see Sarah Palin's house...well, the Governor's mansion...no, I could not see Russia from there. Jenny and I decided the order of the day should be some sweet, sweet kayaking so off we went! We hit Douglas, Alaska and the lake. Once we suited up in our raingear, we were off...now, by we were off, I mean the current in the lake was very strong and steering the kayak was ridiculous for the first part of our journey. Once we got it under control, it became awesome. We were literally only feet away from eagles and harbor seals. Right across from us was Mendenhall glacier...an astounding site. The cloud cover was heavy but not so heavy that it obscured the view. Overall, it was an amazing day on the water and we didn't even tump the boat! After that we invested a little time with Dragan and some other folks from the crew of our ship at the Viking Bar downtown. Juneau, it's a fun town, especially with the right activities and people.

Sitka. I loved Sitka. I don't know if it was the island aspect or the adventure, but I loved the place. I visited the surf shop, picked up a nice Euphoria shirt ("Euphoria-the first stage of hypothermia") and wondered around taking in some of the Russian atmosphere. When you think of Alaska, you naturally think of snorkeling right? Well, Jenny and I did. We did what is known as a "dry suit snorkel" in which, put on what has to be the most flattering outfit every to grace the human frame. It consists of a fleece onsie over your street clothes, and a waterproof insulated suit with enough bagginess to allow for movement...Stacy and Clinton would be so proud. Granted, if you want to survive your swim, you suck it up, suck it in, and put it on. The snorkeling was awesome. It was a classically gray Alaskan day with a slight wind, you could feel the chill in the water through the suit, but not badly. Once you dip your face below the surface, an entirely new world emerges filled with starfish the size of dinner plates, hermit crabs, kelp forests, nudibranches, abalone, and fish zipping here and there. I was surprised at the heft of the sunflower sea star but also at it's vibrant blues and pinks...who knew what lurked down there! (No salmon sharks or whales today though!)

Our last port of call left my beautiful Alaska behind and dropped us into Victoria B.C...Canada, eh! Victoria was GORGEOUS! The flowers and gardens everywhere were stunning. Now, Jenny and I made a great friend on the cruise named Emilie a Victoria local, and we just walked around town taking pictures and being again...ridiculous. We watched the Snowbirds perform...no, I'm not talking about a group of active senior citizens. The Snowbirds are Canada's answer to the USA's Blue Angels, and they were awesome with their aerial stunts. Also, as it turns out, after the failure of the Empire, Darth Vader has taken up fiddling on the main drag of downtown Victoria...who knew?

All in all, the trip was awesome and it left us with memories that we'll always cherish. Sad thing is, this is just the...if you'll pardon the phrase, the tip of the iceberg. We saw things few people will ever see, we did things few people will ever do and we let ourselves enjoy this grand old world that God gave so graciously gave us...who could ask for more than that?