4 AM...it's quiet. The moon hangs low in the chill of the early October morning. A few weary people begin to rouse themselves from a heavy slumber. Backpacks are filled with water, extra clothes, and granola bars. Hair is quickly twisted into ponytail holders, tennis shoes are slipped on and jackets are grabbed as they race out the door. In a few short hours, the weeks of planning would finally culminate...
but not for me...
You see, I should be preparing for a white water rafting trip right about now with a group of my friends. A trip I conceived of, planned, and paid for. (reimbursements from friends pending of course) Instead it seems I've decided I should develop a fairly serious kidney infection...oh, and a head cold...I wouldn't forget about you head cold. You're the icing on my illness cake!
Now I know a kidney infection sounds like fun, but let me tell you, it's not, IT'S NOT! It's not one of those " I need a break from work, oh, how convenient, the sniffles!" kind of things. It's one of those "quit hitting me in the back with that baseball bat!" kind of things. Of course there's a whole other treasure trove of symptoms that go along with this but I'll spare you. Suffice to say my bladder and kidneys are no longer on speaking terms. Oh, the head cold, yeah, I've contacted Guinness...I figure I must be setting some kind of record for Kleenex usage.
Now, this isn't to say you can't have some fun while possibly dying*. If you aren't suffering from the probable side effects of confusion and disorientation (yep) movies are always a good..actually, depending on the movie, it might be better under the effects of confusion and disorientation...but I digress. Thanks to Netflix, I received quality entertainment in my mailbox for only pennies a day or so they tell me. Well, anyway, a bunch of Lost Boys found their way into my mailbox that day. Surprisingly enough, I'd never seen Lost Boys before but I had faith that the 80s wouldn't disappoint me. I must say, two Coreys, a Sutherland, and copious quantities of fake blood later, I was laughing it up. I do love a good vampire flick and teamed with the campy nostalgia of the 1980s, I was feeling better in no time...for about 5 minutes. Time to look for greener pastures. This brings me to my favorite sick bed activity...naps.
Napping when you're sick is a true joy. There's something about that fevered sleep that is like no other. It's the waking up that kind of sucks. You know what I'm talking about, (and this is all you head cold.) that nice puddle of drool, the snots, the whole "were am I" sensation. I know, sexy right? Oh, and the chills, those are sexy too. However, the sleeping itself is great. A good solid two hour nap, it's like kicking sickness in the butt! You don't know you're sick at all while you're sleeping and...AND you get those awesome freak dreams from the combination of antibiotics, pain killers, and cough syrup! Where else can you ride a flying surfboard on a wave made of rainbows? That's the kind of entertainment only Blue Cross and Blue Shield can provide! Alas, naps only last so long.
Of course, there's that great bastion of misinformation...the internet...the sick person's best friend...the golden retriever of all technology! It all starts out innocently enough, read a few blogs, laugh at an lolcat, and facebook or myspace completely pointless messages to all of your friends. Of course, that's until you decide to google your condition and all of its potential if ridiculously rare side effects...when the words "failure, loss of, and death" start popping up, you decide it's time to head back to Icanhascheezburger.com. Still, eventually, even the internet gets a little boring and repetitive...
Well friends and internet strangers alike, I raise my glass of gingerale and bid you adieu for this blog...hopefully I can keep myself out of the hospital. The first round of antibiotics didn't work so well you see but I like a challenge...now, some amusing pictures that I hope you enjoy as much as I have...
Here I am just chillin' with an Ermine. (Oh yeah, photoshop is fun too!)
My gosh! Why didn't I know about these sooner? They fulfill all my action jean needs!
The Force is strong in this one ^
...and finally, some parenting advice from a non-parent expert!
*used for dramatic effect!
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