Somewhere Over The Rainbow...Cake!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

Last night, my best friend and I got together to do a little baking. Of course, if you've met either of us, you know this wasn't a polite little get together to make dainty tea cookies. No, this was an exercise in creative insanity. Previously, I'd experimented with making a Psychedelic Rainbow Cake, and found that not only was it amazingly fun, it was magically delicious! Now Jenny, my best friend, happens to a Pampered Chef consultant, but not just any Pampered Chef consultant! No, she's the REAL Pampered Chef Consultant... and you should check out her blog: Real Kitchen. Real Life, which features this cake today. It'll be worth your time. Trust me.

Anyway, if you don't know us... this is Jenny:

And this is me:

And of course, you've met the cake already.

Jenny and I might have a slight flair for the dramatic, and honestly, we'll take any opportunity to make something more eventful than it would normally be. So, instead of just making the cake, we decided to add a St. Patrick's Day Flair by dressing up in as much green as I could wrestle out of my closet. What made it even better? The fact that nothing matches. None of those greens go together... at all.

 Here I am whipping some eggs together. I am, apparently, really, really happy about that, but why not? Those eggs make cake, and what's not to like about that?

Here's Jenny mixing the cake, and wearing my favorite pair of socks. Jenny's an unconventional kind of girl who sees a sink as more than just a place to wash dishes or fill stuff with water. She views it as a physical challenge. Balance, coordination, and the ability to mix a cake while teetering on the edge of a thin strip of counter are all skills Jenny aspires to perfect.

Of course, we all know the most important part of a rainbow cake is the color. Otherwise, it'd just be, er... cake. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!) Still, you might think coloring a bowl of white batter would be child's play, like melting crayons in the toaster, but I assure you, it's an exact science. Just look at that concentration!

Each of these colors were mixed using a very complex systematic equation to obtain optimum colorization. This might be above some of your heads, but I'll go ahead and write an example for you. Because, as an artist, I know all about the maths.

There are two bottles of blue, one neon, one regular. Here is the ratio: A bunch of neon blue to Not as much regular blue. Thus, your equation would be:

(a bunch of)Nb+(not as much)Rb="yeah, that looks good."

Exact. Science.

Now, like all exact sciences, take chemistry for example, you don't really have to pay attention when you're pouring stuff from one thing into another. Just assume it's right. It'll be fine.

See? It's awesome! That's what science (magic!) does.

After you've baked the cake and let it cool as much as your greedy face will let it, spread on some icing. Now, don't go thinking this is some kind of canned crap. Oh no, this is the homemade stuff, with marshmallow fluff no less. You don't get much better than that!

Slap those layers together, ice the rest, and cut into that rainbow on a plate! (Two layers! Double rainbow on my plate! So beautiful... What does it mean!? ) All memes aside, I have to confess that we didn't actually eat any of the cake, we just cut it to show it off for Jenny's blog. She's going to take it to her brother's birthday party, so others can experience the wonder. However, I did have some (most of) the one I baked last time, and let me tell you... if that's not a frosted lucky charm, I don't know what is!

Happy St. Pat's!

'Twas a week before Christmas...

This little tale that I'm telling to you, is based in pure fact, yes, it's pretty much true! It's cobbled together like a poorly made quilt; but I don't care, I don't feel any guilt. Enjoy the story, that's my true aim, I know it won't bring any fortune or fame. It's pretty silly, but what can I say, it's just my life, it's an average day...

'Twas a week before Christmas, and I could not believe

that no baking was done so close to the Eve;

The stockings were hung and a gift or two wrapped,

Still too much to do and my energy's zapped.

Most people were sleeping all snug in their beds,

while I, with the stress, thought of upping my meds;

A present for Dad is still left to buy,

"but what do I get him?" I thought with a sigh,

When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,

I ran from the kitchen to see what was the matter.

The screeching was loud, a thud then a thump

and it sounded like something was fixin'* to tump*,

The ice on the road was as black as the night

and gave all the drivers a terrible fright

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a bus in the ditch by the mailbox...how queer,

With an old lady driver confused in the seat

she'd run over the mailbox without missing a beat.

Skidding and sliding and stopped with a thud,

I could see that her bus was now stuck in the mud,

"Excuse me, I'm sorry, I ran quite off course !"

"Oh, and for your mailbox...I give my remorse..."

"It's alright I said, it'll stand back up straight,"

"I'm just happy you avoided a slightly worse fate."

As rain swirled about, (no we just don't get snow,)

We pondered on how to get her bus to go,

After much consternation, unstuck she came,

And no we did not file an insurance claim,

Then, there she went, quickly down the road,

Driving away in her over-sized load,

As I waved goodbye and was turning around,

I heard from inside a slight ringing sound.

The cookies I'd left in the oven to bake!

I'd forgotten about them! What a mess this would make!

The smell of burned baked goods soon filled my nose,

And smoke from the oven, oh how it rose,

A Christmas time fire, my that seems merry,

Unless it's unplanned, and then it's just scary!

I threw on my mitt and the oven door braved

And thought to myself, "can these cookies be saved?"

"I'll ice them," I said, "then they'll be fine,"

That slight smoky flavor will be nice with wine,

Of course the frosting would just be a cinch,

Except there's no sugar, who's been here? The Grinch?

"Ah the old standby" I said satisfied,

as canned Betty Crocker I quickly applied,

A sprinkle or two and no one would know,

of my near disaster with sugary dough,

I packaged them up and took them to work,

everyone liked them, from the boss to the clerk,

With crumbs just remaining, the office well fed,

my holiday plans had not ended in dread,

A few days to go I thought with a smirk,

Me, I'm just ready to head home from work,

"BYE!" I exclaim, as I drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, bake some cookies tonight."

*thems is Southern words y'all!